Eye of the storm

One of my best friends who lives in Georgia recently sent me a link to a potential beach house rental along the gorgeous Florida Gulf Coast where we (family and friends who are now family) have vacationed over many summers.  Man, would we slay a vacation right now!  But over the past few days, the invite really got me thinking about the country and how different our lives can be depending on who we are and where we live.  In every day life, how regional is reality?

Spare tires and a note on 2nd Avenue

As of today, the US of A is experiencing rising coronavirus cases in 20+ states.  And the thought occurred to me to ask my buddy: if I had invited all of you to come to NYC in April or May for a beach vacation, would you have considered it (assuming all things being equal: affordable flights, accommodation, good weather)?  NYC was the world's epicenter of coronavirus at that point, and I regularly got worried messages from loved ones making sure we were safe.  And thankfully, we were and are (knock wood).  NY leadership has relied upon information from specific data, scientists, and health care professionals to guide the state throughout this crisis.  Cuomo and De Blasio, love 'em or hate 'em, held daily press conferences to advise all New Yorkers across regions, and 100+ days later, the state's numbers across the board have continued to steadily decline.  And now NYC, the country's most populous city, is slated to enter Phase 3 of reopening on July 6th.  For me, my main job could reopen at half capacity as of Phase 3 but has chosen to stay closed through the fall.  Summer was usually the slowest time, especially August...so, I'm bummed and gotta spruce up my resumé, but understand.  But back to my point, Big Apple to FL oranges, is it a good idea to head into the eye of the storm for a vacay?  And also, is the rest of the country and world as worried by the recent spikes elsewhere as we are up here?

With other states now witnessing spikes like those the tristate area endured starting back in March, in a sad twist of fate, the governors of NY, NJ, and CT recently decided together to place quarantine restrictions on travelers from many of those states (Florida included).  Thinking about a possible vacation then made me wonder, do people in other cities not see this virus as a real and serious threat?  I remember and likely wrote about how strange it is to fear something that remains invisible.  No one in my immediate circle had been impacted in the beginning.  But resources started to become scarce, businesses closed, everyone wore masks up here, and stayed home.  Reports on the news were devastating, makeshift morgues built in hospital parks under tents.  Asymptomatic spreading only making the virus more elusive.  And then a few friends and co-workers started to talk about symptoms, and then positive test results, ushered by more symptoms for most.  One friend works for the Air Force and had been on international flights.  Another had also flown a bunch.  And another's significant other is a Corrections Officer (who also tested positive).  They all recovered at home, glory be.  And talking with friends and family who work in health care...surely, they have PTSD from what they’ve seen fighting this disease over months.  Watching people die in total isolation with no comfort, kind words, even hugs from loved ones in the last moments.  Day after day, hour by hour.  And having vowed to help, and yet unable to, ill-equipped, overworked, and desperate for relief themselves.  With no cure in sight, talk about a no-win situation.

It got me thinking more broadly about reality.  Is this pandemic one of those things that people only believe once it's happened to them, their community, their city?  Are firsthand accounts of this disease's carnage from other impacted regions insufficient to believe it's real and can hit anywhere?  Across the country, there are reports of people referring to this as a “scamdemic.”  So, how much does where you live impact what you hear about what's happening and where?  What are my friends across the country hearing from their states' governors, health officials, and media?  And more so, as this virus is devastating communities, and with cases to spiking in Florida particularly, wouldn't it be risky to rent a house (who knows who's rented it previously, who cleaned it and with what safety protocol?) with friends from different states (obviously us included) who have not quarantined together, if quarantined at all?  And then I looked into how we'd even get to Florida with NY IDs.  Would we have to be smuggled?  Wink, wink.  We have had such good times on these vacations over the years.  But then, I got a little pissed at myself for trying to figure out how we'd swing it.  Right now, is taking this vacation smart?  Is it wise?  Is it...appropriate?

In addition to the health crisis, the world is also in the throws of a massive cultural uprising, with many people referring to the continued murders of Black people in the US as the pandemic within a pandemic.  And with video capturing George Floyd's murder having been shown in every living room, it's as if America and the world have finally chosen to do something about the fact that, while it is stated that "all men are created equal," clearly, not all are treated equally.  I'll never forget watching a grown man calling out for his mother as a police officer choked the life out of him.  I'll never forget urine trickling down the concrete, watching with horror the realtime evidence that this man had lost bodily function and died.  How do you explain this?  How do you justify the murder we all just saw?  And George Floyd is the latest victim in a long list of the names of only those we know were murdered.  Scary to think about what happens when there are no cameras.  Insult to injury, African American communities have been hardest hit by coronavirus.

And another mitigating factor that is further impacting the nation and world...?  Unemployment.  The US unemployment rate the highest rate since the Depression, millions have lost their livelihoods.  As of March 2020, this college-educated, 40-something, white woman who had been working three jobs in NYC found herself unemployed from all of them because of a pandemic, and uninsured because health care benefits were through her employer.  COBRA premiums to extend health coverage would have eaten almost a third of my monthly unemployment (I get the maximum allotment, which ain't enough).  After subtracting out my Manhattan studio apartment monthly rent, I'd have $188 to live on monthly.  My monthly electric bill usually exceeds that amount, especially now that I'm always home.  Never mind food.  So, shout out to Obama for the Affordable Care Act.  NY state runs its own Health Care Marketplace, a regional reality, and I was able to enroll in health care coverage for a modest premium.  I don't want to get political...oops, too late...but, as of last night, Trump filed to have the Supreme Court put an end the ACA.  In the middle of a pandemic, this man's priority is to get rid of health care that covers millions of Americans?  Wow.

Live long and prosper, Dr. Fauci!

So, in the midst of a deadly, global pandemic, a global Black Lives Matter movement further incensed by video of George Floyd's murder by cops, the highest unemployment rate in the country since the Depression, and the potential loss of health care for millions, the thought of vacation is, from one moment to the next, the last and first thing on my mind.  We've all earned a break after the changes 2020 has ushered in thus far.  But more than that, this year's consideration of a beach vacay speaks to what a privilege it is to be able to even contemplate it during one of the country's most devastating and trying times. 

All things considered, I think I'm gonna wait.  I'd rather all of us still hunker down, and ride this storm out a bit more before we, including our most vulnerable, venture back out into the world.  But, again, I can't help but admit that my opinion is shaped by what's happened regionally up here. I want to hunker down still because that's what has been effective in New York, at least so far.  Aside: while writing this, Pence is speaking at his first coronavirus task force briefing in months.  And he claimed the tristate's decrease in numbers as a victory for the White House.  Sorry, bro.  No dice.  The tristate area had to fight tooth and nail for any and every bit of support.  Remember the phrase "blue state bailouts"?  Heaven forbid red states now finds themselves in need.  As the federal government continues to abdicate responsibility, states will further be left to fend for themselves.  So, as much I'd love a return to the annual beach vacation, for now I have to pass.  We could be risking our health to travel to states where cases are only rising.  More so, we could be risking everyone else's health on vacation with us (as well as anyone else we encounter along the way) if we traveled.  And I’m definitely too scared that me traveling could negatively impact someone else.  All in all, I'll keep trucking, wearing my mask, washing my hands, and trying to think good thoughts.  For all regions and (most) realities.

Friday nights in

It's Friday night and I'm listening to "Louder Than Bombs" by the Smiths on my airbuds streaming through my phone, while typing on my computer. Device mania over here! This album transports me to another time in my life. Way back, people.  It was my album of choice the summer of 1988, I think.  My waterproof walkman and foam headphones in toe, a bunch of weird singer kids and this gal had the insane opportunity to tour the winding roads of France and Belgium. Twenty eleven and twelve year-olds on a European tour?  Obviously magical.  I remember being kicked out of hat shops in Paris and refusing to eat patè for dinner.  Or for any meal (I like patè a lot now).  I still have a photograph from the top of the Eiffel Tower.  I took it with arms extended out looking straight down on to what else...a soccer field.  We even got to sing in Notre Dame, which still seems unfathomable to this day.  Paired with another young singer, we also did home-stays. All I recall is rocking out to Blue Oyster Cult on the turntable and this odd breakfast treat called "Craquinette." It was like a puffed rice cracker filled with chocolate.  No, I'm not kidding.  And them thangs were my saving grace in a sea of baguette, butter, and jam for brekkie. Another odd detail: all the water was carbonated and citrus-flavored.  I hated it then, and still do.

My Friday nights lately would involve shaking hella cocktails, running up and down stairs for fancy bottles of wine, restocking the bar with garnish needs or buckets of ice, delivering food to hungry diners excited about the "weekend." Funny because my weekends start on Sunday nights, when most others are dreading their ensuing work week.  But in quarantine and on unemployment, it's easy to slip into a state of timelessness where every day is Friday.  Or Saturday. 

And while I am doing my best to enjoy the time away from work and be productive in other areas of life, I am praying that returning to a new normal is on the horizon. Will restaurants reopen at all? And will there be patrons if so? Over the years I've worked in Hospitality, there has always been the notion that once you've done it in New York, you can do it anywhere. And once this virus is vanquished (fingers crossed), all of us in the industry are hoping that what we'd believed was guaranteed work, even potentially worldwide, will again be the case.  I have gotten jobs in this industry from one day to the next.  Even been hired on the spot.  It can be that easy to get as a seasoned and sociable barkeep.  But with the entire industry shuttered, I find myself yet again rethinking this as a "career."  It has suited my life in so many ways.  I have been able to travel for extended periods of time thrice thus far in my life.  I got to spend invaluable time exploring countries and countryside, growing and learning, challenging my own notions of courage and stupidity.  I was even able to travel with both my parents in Asia and spend extended time with them on one of those getaways.  What is work if you cannot enjoy at least some quality time away from it?  I know you're supposed to do what you love in order to never work a day in your life.  But like all things, you gotta keep some balance.  Work hard, vacation hard, I say.

Tears my dears

I don't know about you, but Lady Gaga got me last night with the One World: Together At Home concert with Global Citizen and the WHO.  She is so boss and talented.  I loved the Rolling Stones performance, too.  I don't think I've ever seen Taylor Swift perform a song, so that was kind of interesting.  And all the vignettes they showed of medical professionals and workers, fine, I'll admit it, I cried...!  Sometimes ya just gotta.  Impressive show and way to bring light to and rally behind organizations and all the people in need of our support!

Catch-22

For all of us enduring this time at home, there seem to have emerged two schools of thought. It's either: what all have you been able to accomplish with this forced home time?  If laid off, have you launched a new app or company yet?  Explored your true passion and found a way to support yourself doing just that?  Or, on the flip side, how much of a couch potato have you become?  Are you taking care of yourself in the ways you never could when working full-time?  Have you added in yoga, meditation, and quiet moments?  Self-hugs?  These approaches to this downtime seem to mimic traits of Type A and B personalities.  Sure, I have cleaned my apartment, reorganized closets and cabinets, dusted and disinfected more than usual. I have rekindled a passion for this goofy, little blog. I'm riding my bike daily, weather permitting, and we have been enjoying some hilarious indoor workouts in this tiny studio apartment.  Some days, it feels like we are rehearsing an act for The Two Stooges. But don't get me wrong...I am also maintaining a healthy relationship with my sofa.  All in all, I'm doing whatever makes me feel ok day by day, trying to stay positive, active, healthy, and sane (tomato, tomahto).  And some combination of both these attitudes and outlooks seems to be the key.

Because really, this pandemic is gut-wrenching no matter where or how you look at our new reality.  While I am itching for outdoor time, not to mention socializing; again, I'm conflicted.  I want to volunteer and help out out there.  My job has an opportunity to help prep foods and organize the weekly grocery pick ups.  And I cannot emphasize enough how thoughtful and generous it is of the company to donate groceries to any employee who signs up for them.  It is a gift.  Most recently, they changed the pick up location to the spot where I had been working. So, it would super easy to help

Memorial and warning at Tompkins Square Park

in a space where I already know the lay of the land.  At the same time, I am quarantined with my significant other (thank heavens), and don't want to expose myself to anything (obvi).  But also knowing I would most certainly expose him adds another layer of caution and fear of the unknown.  It's a catch-22 no matter the situation.  And imagine the sich for essential workers.  A few of my buddies fall into this category and have only seen more work during this time.  None has tested positive for this virus, which is a blessing.  I can only imagine the catch-22 they face.  Is it better to be exposed to the virus, stay home and get better (fingers crossed), and get it out of the way?  And then hopefully be able to face any other waves with antibody immunity...?  Or simply hope and pray that you never get it?   But with negligible symptoms in some, others fall ill and die, with little rhyme or reason, across all age ranges.  It's a lot to take in.  And then there are the conspiracy theories.  And the updates.  Cuomo, De Blasio, the "President."  I discovered a jigsaw puzzle app the other day.  Talk about saving grace.

Think good thoughts

Another beautiful spring evening, I went out again tonight for a bike ride. We have been in self-quarantine now for 3 weeks and a day, heading out only for essentials or exercise. A full moon had just started to rise, as I pedaled along, and fewer people seemed out. I'm glad I went out a bit later today. Folks are still abiding by the distancing rules and most of us had faces covered.

Facing such scary times, I have been focusing on the positive efforts and stories out there.

A full moon above a Brooklyn
building across the East River

While biking tonight, I saw that residents on the top floors of a building across the river in Brooklyn had coordinated their windows to form the shape of a heart. Impressive and appreciated. Every single person on the promenade stopped to snap a picture of the full moon shining brightly above their show of love. Every night at 7pm, people hop outside, on their stoops, roofs, and fire escapes, and hang out windows banging pots to show support for essential workers. My neighborhood has a robust supply of (illicit) firecrackers and the neighborhood kids have also been setting those off every night in support of those still working. In this sea of confusion and uncertainly, these daily reminders to show love, support, and kindness are crucial. Stay safe out there!

Schwinning

I rode my sweet Schwinn today for the first time since the ribs incident back in November.  I usually ride to and from work, but the ribs and winter had the bike indoors.  I believe the vernal equinox was March 20, but it's officially spring for me!  Carried the bike down the steps with no issues.  And off to the races! 

The East River Promenade and surrounding parks were abustle today.  Lots of folks looking for a bit of sunshine outdoors.  All walks of life, and all keeping a distance, some masked, some nude faces.  The track was the most concentrated space with lots of runners and soccer players.  I rode up to the bandstand and saw a family who looked like they were finishing homework together.  I always loved when class was outside.

Day 18 of Home Time

Today has been a blessing in many ways, and scary still in others.  My guy found out that one of his best friends tested positive for coronavirus and is dealing with some symptoms.  He lives with his wife and daughter, and they are all wonderful people.  We spoke this evening and everyone is doing ok, but I can only imagine how frightened they must be.  This whole situation is maddening for so many in so many different ways.  But he is healthy and strong. And we will all get through it!

We left the house today to venture out for groceries. Huge shout out to the company I work for: Happy Cooking Hospitality. The owners and management team, many of whom I'd be in the trenches with today at work, have created Happy Cooking Grocery to help feed employees during this difficulty. One of the spots used to be a grocery, so there ya go. And once a week, employees can come pick up a chockfull bag. For FREE. Today we got fresh cauliflower, apples, oranges, grapefruit, avocado, eggs, limes, cucumbers, bread. And we have for safe-keeping marinated chicken (too late, it was DELICIOUS!!!!), rice, pasta, green lentils, TP (!!!!), and paper towels. Not only is it beyond generous but it also helps rekindle our community. I saw a few co-workers I would normally see daily and haven't seen in weeks. Oh, and I forgot to mention that my boss handed us masks the moment we walked up! The latest news indicates that this thing can travel on someone's breath. So, thank you, Ed!!! Which, side note, wearing a mask for the first time, I was not delighted with the scent of my own breath. As a plaque that still hangs somewhere in Dr. Granade's office suggests, "You don't have to floss all your teeth. Just the ones you want to keep." We also stopped by Trader Joe's wine shop for what we like to call the Neapolitan: a box of white, one of rosé, and one of red. We ain't fancy!

Broadway @ Astor Place...
no cars or humans

While New York City is the epicenter, the city is still chugging along.  Just at at least six-foot length from others. Encountering people walking on the sidewalks, it is a regular occurrence for one person to walk in the street. With so few cars on the streets, getting hit isn't really an issue. We counted maybe 5 taxis on our walk from East to West villages.  We did hear the subway rumble below us on a few occasions.  And I saw a slew of buses pass, but they were mostly empty.  I am relieved to see that most New Yorkers are taking this situation to heart and STAYING HOME!  I read an article about how Detroit is handling this crisis...grim, indeed. The Chief of Police tested positive and so one of his captains is in charge. And the captain was quoted in the article saying that you basically have to commit murder to get arrested.  And, what do ya know...supposedly, murder is up in Detroit 50%. And let's not even go into the state of prisons there...

I texted with some friends today, doing my best to stay optimistic.  I also spoke with my mom briefly tonight about all this happening around us. Reach out to your loved ones, people. You have no idea how much they may need it, and in return, you'll find you probably did, too.